January 2019, I let my national midwifery license expire. They sent me a letter saying I am no longer allowed to call myself a CNM. I've been a midwife for 22 years and delivered over 2000 babies and although I've been a practicing artist the whole time, it saddens me to loose the title of Certified Nurse Midwife. I have held the space and midwifed, women, children, families, and art my whole life. I cried when I received the letter. Even though I have lost a title (which I am not sure I understand), Doctors don't stop being MD's when they retire.
Moving forward, actively bringing all this chaos together. Finding the rhythms and patterns of a lifetime of work and bringing to a cohesive conclusion. The conclusion is not yet and hard work with many layers of struggle is ever elusive. Preparing for a large scale show with plans to include paintings, movement and birth. The struggle is real, the work is hard and it doesn't alway turn out how you think that is should. That's the power of art.